sigh...

i feel so negligent to this here blog, and i miss it terribly! but lately i have had a horrid time finding my bearings! most of the time i didn't know whether i was coming or going. (i only spent two days at the gym last week! believe me i am feeling the effects!) i digress.

i feel like i'm coming back now :) and i changed one thing. prayer.

in young women's this past week we talked about bad habits. what causes them, what ours are, how to break them, etc. but something that stuck out so much to me was through the object lesson. we wrote down a bunch of bad habits and crumpled them up. then the teacher threw all the papers to one person. impossible to catch right?

and i got it! i have a lot of bad habits!! staying up to late, playing on the computer when i should play with my kids or go to bed, throwing my clothes on the floor rather than the dirty hamper (yes i still do that) focusing more on the cleanliness of my house rather than my family. but i CANNOT fix all of my bad habits at once!

not to mention the "processing" i'm trying to do about my "mystery condition" (i know many of you are getting sick of my health issues, but it helps me to talk or type :) by the way if i haven't told you all my tests were negative, so i was given cymbalta, bad news anti-depressent, and told to see the doc in two weeks. and don't even get me started on the primary care physician i delt with. if you really want to know drop me a line.)

i've been way tooooooo overwhelmed! anyway as i sat in class i thought of a really important bad habit i needed to change. the quality of my prayers.

then and there i thought of a game plan:

-i will ALWAYS kneel when i pray (i know honey :)

-when possible say my prayers out loud (i get really distracted in my head, and i can't always do it because i'm too embarrassed to say them out loud in front of scott. is that weird?)

anyway ask me how i feel. ask me how my week has gone. go on just ask me.

only one word describes it...

peace.

it's been far from perfect! trust me! (my lil has whined at me for four days straight) but i have felt the Spirit strengthen me to handle these things in a calm manner instead of yelling, screaming, and scrambling. (not quite perfect at that either, but i'm doing soooooo much better)

and i fully understand that all the weeks of the rest of my life are not always going to feel like this (because i'm so far from perfect and will probably need to be reminded 500 million more times before i die.) but i was soooooooooo glad to be reminded of what i needed and where i needed to truly turn.

anyway just thought i would share. now i'm going to go pack up for tomorrow, kneel, and pray out loud, and thank my Heavenly Father for this wonderful gift He has given me.

what about you?