Hi.

Some of you may have noticed that I've been missing for a while. It is true. (In my defense it is the Holidays. Which brings me to an interesting point. I don't spend time on the computer during an actual holiday for the most part. Probably because I'm too busy chasing my kids or keeping them quiet while Scott sleeps. But I've noticed that there are some people that I don't see on their blogs or facebook like ever, and then BAM! a holiday hits, and there's a "Merry Christmas" or "I'm so thankful for..." on my facebook page or google reader. Just a funny observation I've made :)

But I've been busy, as we all have been, getting Christmas shopping done, keeping the house clean, decorating (ask me about that one) juggling the kids, taking pictures of people, making Christmas presents, making goodies, loosing 10 lbs, dealing with the sickies wanting so badly to take on an organization project for the house, but the time doesn't permit. Amidst all this I realized something...I don't have time for this!

Shocker I know, don't we all say this to ourselves. But I'm committing to myself right now to simplify!

It's sad for me, because I think the first thing that is going to suffer is this here blog, which makes me sooooo sad because I want to be her and her and her! (and those are only a couple of my blogging idols) but you know it's okay, because there are certain realities about my life where I can't be those women. I have a 16 month old. I have a husband that works CRAZY hours, I have 3 kids, and also I'm having issues with my health! This makes me so sad, but I have to straiten out my priorities, and my kids and hubby are the top of my list.

I won't be gone forever! Lilly will go to school, Gavin will take naps, the house WILL get organized to my satisfaction (is it possible? oh yes it is :) and I will post here and there probably mostly about the kids, and the projects I will be working on. And someday I will probably be one of those women (not half as interesting or talented, but I'll post more about what is going on in my life) But for now I really need to focus on my family, my health, and my home in 2011.

And maybe I will get so organized in the next couple of months you won't even know I'm gone :)

Till then have a safe, and Happy New Year and I will see you soon !

oh lilly...

scott: "Heavenly Father gave us animals for our use. it's mean for people to just kill them and leave them."

lilly: "yeah like if someone killed a animal and left it on the street for a chirstmas decoration that would be heelarious"

sigh...

i feel so negligent to this here blog, and i miss it terribly! but lately i have had a horrid time finding my bearings! most of the time i didn't know whether i was coming or going. (i only spent two days at the gym last week! believe me i am feeling the effects!) i digress.

i feel like i'm coming back now :) and i changed one thing. prayer.

in young women's this past week we talked about bad habits. what causes them, what ours are, how to break them, etc. but something that stuck out so much to me was through the object lesson. we wrote down a bunch of bad habits and crumpled them up. then the teacher threw all the papers to one person. impossible to catch right?

and i got it! i have a lot of bad habits!! staying up to late, playing on the computer when i should play with my kids or go to bed, throwing my clothes on the floor rather than the dirty hamper (yes i still do that) focusing more on the cleanliness of my house rather than my family. but i CANNOT fix all of my bad habits at once!

not to mention the "processing" i'm trying to do about my "mystery condition" (i know many of you are getting sick of my health issues, but it helps me to talk or type :) by the way if i haven't told you all my tests were negative, so i was given cymbalta, bad news anti-depressent, and told to see the doc in two weeks. and don't even get me started on the primary care physician i delt with. if you really want to know drop me a line.)

i've been way tooooooo overwhelmed! anyway as i sat in class i thought of a really important bad habit i needed to change. the quality of my prayers.

then and there i thought of a game plan:

-i will ALWAYS kneel when i pray (i know honey :)

-when possible say my prayers out loud (i get really distracted in my head, and i can't always do it because i'm too embarrassed to say them out loud in front of scott. is that weird?)

anyway ask me how i feel. ask me how my week has gone. go on just ask me.

only one word describes it...

peace.

it's been far from perfect! trust me! (my lil has whined at me for four days straight) but i have felt the Spirit strengthen me to handle these things in a calm manner instead of yelling, screaming, and scrambling. (not quite perfect at that either, but i'm doing soooooo much better)

and i fully understand that all the weeks of the rest of my life are not always going to feel like this (because i'm so far from perfect and will probably need to be reminded 500 million more times before i die.) but i was soooooooooo glad to be reminded of what i needed and where i needed to truly turn.

anyway just thought i would share. now i'm going to go pack up for tomorrow, kneel, and pray out loud, and thank my Heavenly Father for this wonderful gift He has given me.

what about you?

Some of you maybe wondering...

where I have been this past month. Honestly. Tired. I have had a very interesting few weeks. But it all started about a 2 1/2 years ago.

May 2008-

Scott is graduating from college. We are being kicked out of our awesome house! (I'm not kidding this place was amazing! I had four close friends all within arms reach, almost literally. We were so close we would take each others baby monitors to each others house if we needed to leave after the kids went to bed. A place where the kids could just go out and play and if they mis-behaved one of the mom's would mother them and I would do the same for their kids) At that time I was really stressed. Losing my home, finding a place to live, and I was living in this fairy tale that my husband was going have a job before graduation that would afford us to to move directly into our dream house. Well I was delusional, and that's when the panic attacks set in. I was really fatigued (I couldn't walk up the stairs without getting winded and I wasn't in horrible shape I exercised at least three days a week for 45 min. or more.) I also noticed that I was seeing these weird spots in my eyes. They look somewhat like this...

I went to my doctor. He told me I was having anxiety and put me on Prozac.

Jump to 1 1/2 later...

Nov. 2009-

Me being the busy woman that I am would go about my day doing motherly duties, wifely duties, and even doing some fun things for myself. As I would go about my day I would occasionally find that my left pinky would go tingly or my left hand would go numb momentarily. Then normal feeling would return and I would go about my business. I specifically recall one night getting out of the shower talking to Scott on the phone and mentioning the my whole had was asleep, for no reason. I also found that as I would have an itch on my arm, leg or anywhere on my left side I would scratch to relieve it, but it was never fully satisfied. (I know that probably sounds so strange, but that's what I feel.)

Oct. 4-11-

Scott was home sick, and was an extra pair of hands, and I was able to take the time to truly listen to my body. My hand was tingling particularly on my pinky side. I thought that's strange and brushed it off. But it continued to tingle, and I thought you know this would be really concerning if it was on...my...left...arm! Hello!!!! Then the thought of having a heart attack and images of me writhing in pain in the er flooded my brain. (We have a history of Heart Disease in my family and was told once that I had high cholesterol.) I raced to the computer to see if there was something else that could be wrong, and of coarse there are about a 309,428,106 things that could be wrong with you if you have tingling in your left hand. I figured I could still move my arm and had no chest pain...

So again I brushed it off. The week went on. We saw the doc for Scott he had pneumonia. Take Gavin to the doc because he's been runny nose coughing all week. Ear infection. Not to mention Adelle got her earing back stuck inside her earing hole. (Crazy huh?) I was done with doctors.

Oct 11-

Monday rolled around and I was still tingling so I called my trusty Chiropractor to see if he could squeeze me in. He could and treated me at once for Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. I went home that night with some vitamin d, and anti-inflammatory hoping everything will be alright. But for some reason, deep down, I knew this was not Carpel Tunnel.

Oct 12-

Tuesday I went to bed feeling the tingle in my left hand, arm, foot, and lower leg.

Oct 13-

I called the Chiro thinking maybe it was a pinched nerve. I went in, but by the time I got in there there was numbness in my face. He treated me again and told me to get some blood work done and then he would order me an MRI. So I called a doctor. "He can see you Nov. 3" (Okay, can I wait that long?) That night I went to bed this time the ball of my right foot was tingling and the pinky-side of my right hand.

Oct 15-

And then I waited. Saw the Chiropractor again.

Oct 18-

Went to the zoo with Adelle and I was really tingling, but after some rest the tingle was beginning to subside, but I was definitely numb. I saw the Chiropractor again that afternoon and he gave me a referral to a Neurologist. He can't see me until the 5th!

Oct 20-

Scott was reading on Wikipedia about M.S. so i jumped in. It talked about the numbness and it mentioned phosphenes. Then that took me to visiual snow. Which is what I've been seeing for 2 1/2 years now. At that point Scott and I decide to go to the Emergency Room. There I had an EKG, blood work, and ct scan. All came out clear. But the ER doc gets me to see the neurologist the next day.

Oct 21-

Spend the afternoon/evening meeting with the neurologist, MRI, and 5 tubes of blood taken from my body.

Oct 22-

I spent the day in suspense. Wondering if there is anything on the MRI (which is a horrible test you know? They cram you into this little tube and secure your neck, and put earplugs in your ear and your head is soooo secure that they hurt after awhile. So I'm a little claustrophobic and I knew that I would just need to breath and relax while in there so I don't wig! And the table I'm laying on starts to move so I'm thinking I'm done and I open my EYES! Big mistake, I feel my blood pressure rise and I start to salivate, and sweat. Then the whole machine starts to shake as if there is an earthquake and I think to myself, "I'm just gonna die right here this thing is going to collapse on me and I'm going to die. To get my mind off of things I start thinking happy thoughts. My kids, hubby etc. Then I get all emotional and start to cry. Yeah the MRI was an emotional thing for me.)

I get the MRI report-Clean (phew...but at the same time WHAT? I don't know what's worse having "nothing" wrong with you or having a diagnosis.)

I'm still awaiting the blood work and see the neurologist again on Wednesday. Hopefully there will be some answers.

(For those of you that saw my post about taking control? That's what that was about. I'm done worrying about this. I will make it through and I'm moving on with my life and we will see what Wednesday brings:)

I am super sorry!

Things are getting really hectic around here! I have so many projects going on right now. Getting our seasonal clothes together, Halloween, starting Adelle's birthday, Christmas, School, Photography (reminder Christmas is coming fast!!! let me know if you want pictures to do Christmas Cards! memoriesbymim.blogspot.com or email memoriesbymim@gmail.com. Sorry for the plug)

I have also found this amazing website!!! Polyvore! Why is this website so amazing you ask?

I am a designer at heart, through and through. Clothes, Spaces, Scrapbook pages, blogs (ok I'm not about to start charging for my services, but hey I could be a lot worse :) Unfortunately I have never been able to draw very well. I probably could take a class and improve, but alas I have three small children and they take up a lot of my time. Go figure? :) (Someday perhaps) Anyway so the beautiful part of Polyvore to me is that I don't have to sketch a single stroke and i still get a feel of what things will look like. (I do ok in my head. but really who's perfect at that? Sometimes you REALLY have to just SEE it!)

Anyway look at the Family Room I have created! It's bright and cheery and I don't know if I will ever carry it out because I'm afraid it might be too loud, but you know I'm bright and cheery! I've done more muted and darker (like what my mom's house looks like) and it is not me.

Family Room by kimbur on Polyvore.com

Anyway there is a bigger reason why I'm posting this other than I'm totally excited about it! You can only get pictures from the internet so I've been posting pictures of my own on my blog importing them into Polyvore and then deleting them (hence the random post Ariella) So if you ever come across random pictures of decor or clothing on my blog it's just me importing pics to Polyvore!

Eight years ago today...

Scott proposed to me! (and I don't have any good pictures of us right now, so that's all you get :)

bleh!

so i'm sure all (three) of you (that read my blog:) are really bored with my lame posts as of late, but tonight will be another.

I'm going to bed!

how cute is she?

Mama's little cook!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm so excited!!!!!!!! I have two really cool things that I want to post about, but I'm not going to tonight because I need pictures. So I will leave you in suspense!!!

She speaks the truth...

I love my Lilly. She is always making me laugh. I think she especially "shows off" when I'm with Ariella. (I don't know how she does it but whenever I'm with Ariella, Lilly is even funnier than when it's just our family. I guess "Miss" Ariella brings out the wit in her. Moving on to the story now)

We were eating lunch and Lilly says (looking from Ariella to me):

Lilly: "You both are the same beautiful"

Ariella: "Thank you, Lilly"

Lilly: "And you both have zits"

I know right?

We'll try that again...

I don't know what happened with the last video, but here it is again. It should work this time.

I have a new favorite...

happy song.

For years "Dreams" by the Cranberries has been my "happy song" You know that song that gets you right *here* and you feel your body change when you hear it and all of a sudden there is a smile on your face and you reflect how precious and awesome life is! (Maybe I'm weird, but music gets to me.) I have a few of these songs, but this one is one of my new "happy songs" and I love it!!!!!!!!!

Scott showed this song to me the other day and we have been listening to it non-stop!

So listen, enjoy and please share:

What is your "happy song"?

Okay just kidding...

there was something Lilly said a couple of days ago that was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (well I thought it was) We were driving and this pot-gut/ground hog/thing was running across the road. I swerved to miss it, but the guy behind me didn't have the same courtesy to the stupid animal and hit it killing, I hope, instantly. Lilly witnessing the animal running across the road, mommy's crazy driving asked if the dumb thing was alright. I told her the man behind us hit it and she said

"well he should have looked both ways"

So I'm lame...

I really don't feel like posting today so I don't think I will. Good night everyone!

what's this lilly?

"a jewel." ...and she was close. a diamond is a jewel.

So I'm a big nerd!!!

As of late I have been on the prowl for awesome photographers to inspire me And I have found some great one's and there is one that is one of my heroes! (I have a few.) Laci Davis Photography. Anyway she's like super popular and she took the time to answer my question personally! She gave me some great advice on what I should do with my pictures and take a look at the results!

okay...

so not that a lot of you read my blog, and not that i've been posting all that much in the past few days (cut me some slack adelle went back to school and we are still ironing out the kinks of our schedule, ok. jk)

but this guy is coming to see me tomorrow!

oh and his mom too! i'm so excited and so i will be taking a hiatus for a week so that i can spend as much time as possible kissing, loving, snuggling, giggling, and acting crazy with two (in addition to four) of my favorite people! (so i don't know the little man that well, but he's one of my favorites because he's my sisters boy!)

have a wonderful labor day!

Welcome to My bedroom!

Back in May I added some finishing touches to our bedroom.

Remember the before...

And here is the after...


(I've had this night stand since I was a little girl. Scott and I stained it and Scott put the handles on it today! I'm very happy with it!)

If this was my house Ice Blue would be the color I would paint the walls with white trim. Ahh...a girl can dream! Anyway... I need everyone's help. My bed! I feel like my bed needs some throw pillows, but I cannot decide what I want to do. Here are some of my ideas

Cushions from Ikea

Also fabric from Ikea

More Lumbar Cushions from Ikea

These you can't really see very well but this is what it looks like up close

I have this pillow and would just need to find some fabric to make a duplicate.

Then these I designed in photoshop (I think they might be my favorite)

Or should I just leave it as it is?

Tell me what you think. Leave a comment by clicking on please share below. Thanks ladies (and gentlemen if you read)

First Day of First Grade!

Isn't she a gorgeous little, I mean big, first grader! We love you Adelle!

Summer is coming to a close...

so go eat a piece of watermelon, and savor what's left!

Have a GREAT weekend!!

Splash Party

Back in June we had, what I hope to be annual, splash party to celebrate the end of the school year and it was a blast! Here are some pictures from the event.

Splash Party or Dance party girls? (they get their moves from me :)