Some of you maybe wondering...

where I have been this past month. Honestly. Tired. I have had a very interesting few weeks. But it all started about a 2 1/2 years ago.

May 2008-

Scott is graduating from college. We are being kicked out of our awesome house! (I'm not kidding this place was amazing! I had four close friends all within arms reach, almost literally. We were so close we would take each others baby monitors to each others house if we needed to leave after the kids went to bed. A place where the kids could just go out and play and if they mis-behaved one of the mom's would mother them and I would do the same for their kids) At that time I was really stressed. Losing my home, finding a place to live, and I was living in this fairy tale that my husband was going have a job before graduation that would afford us to to move directly into our dream house. Well I was delusional, and that's when the panic attacks set in. I was really fatigued (I couldn't walk up the stairs without getting winded and I wasn't in horrible shape I exercised at least three days a week for 45 min. or more.) I also noticed that I was seeing these weird spots in my eyes. They look somewhat like this...

I went to my doctor. He told me I was having anxiety and put me on Prozac.

Jump to 1 1/2 later...

Nov. 2009-

Me being the busy woman that I am would go about my day doing motherly duties, wifely duties, and even doing some fun things for myself. As I would go about my day I would occasionally find that my left pinky would go tingly or my left hand would go numb momentarily. Then normal feeling would return and I would go about my business. I specifically recall one night getting out of the shower talking to Scott on the phone and mentioning the my whole had was asleep, for no reason. I also found that as I would have an itch on my arm, leg or anywhere on my left side I would scratch to relieve it, but it was never fully satisfied. (I know that probably sounds so strange, but that's what I feel.)

Oct. 4-11-

Scott was home sick, and was an extra pair of hands, and I was able to take the time to truly listen to my body. My hand was tingling particularly on my pinky side. I thought that's strange and brushed it off. But it continued to tingle, and I thought you know this would be really concerning if it was on...my...left...arm! Hello!!!! Then the thought of having a heart attack and images of me writhing in pain in the er flooded my brain. (We have a history of Heart Disease in my family and was told once that I had high cholesterol.) I raced to the computer to see if there was something else that could be wrong, and of coarse there are about a 309,428,106 things that could be wrong with you if you have tingling in your left hand. I figured I could still move my arm and had no chest pain...

So again I brushed it off. The week went on. We saw the doc for Scott he had pneumonia. Take Gavin to the doc because he's been runny nose coughing all week. Ear infection. Not to mention Adelle got her earing back stuck inside her earing hole. (Crazy huh?) I was done with doctors.

Oct 11-

Monday rolled around and I was still tingling so I called my trusty Chiropractor to see if he could squeeze me in. He could and treated me at once for Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. I went home that night with some vitamin d, and anti-inflammatory hoping everything will be alright. But for some reason, deep down, I knew this was not Carpel Tunnel.

Oct 12-

Tuesday I went to bed feeling the tingle in my left hand, arm, foot, and lower leg.

Oct 13-

I called the Chiro thinking maybe it was a pinched nerve. I went in, but by the time I got in there there was numbness in my face. He treated me again and told me to get some blood work done and then he would order me an MRI. So I called a doctor. "He can see you Nov. 3" (Okay, can I wait that long?) That night I went to bed this time the ball of my right foot was tingling and the pinky-side of my right hand.

Oct 15-

And then I waited. Saw the Chiropractor again.

Oct 18-

Went to the zoo with Adelle and I was really tingling, but after some rest the tingle was beginning to subside, but I was definitely numb. I saw the Chiropractor again that afternoon and he gave me a referral to a Neurologist. He can't see me until the 5th!

Oct 20-

Scott was reading on Wikipedia about M.S. so i jumped in. It talked about the numbness and it mentioned phosphenes. Then that took me to visiual snow. Which is what I've been seeing for 2 1/2 years now. At that point Scott and I decide to go to the Emergency Room. There I had an EKG, blood work, and ct scan. All came out clear. But the ER doc gets me to see the neurologist the next day.

Oct 21-

Spend the afternoon/evening meeting with the neurologist, MRI, and 5 tubes of blood taken from my body.

Oct 22-

I spent the day in suspense. Wondering if there is anything on the MRI (which is a horrible test you know? They cram you into this little tube and secure your neck, and put earplugs in your ear and your head is soooo secure that they hurt after awhile. So I'm a little claustrophobic and I knew that I would just need to breath and relax while in there so I don't wig! And the table I'm laying on starts to move so I'm thinking I'm done and I open my EYES! Big mistake, I feel my blood pressure rise and I start to salivate, and sweat. Then the whole machine starts to shake as if there is an earthquake and I think to myself, "I'm just gonna die right here this thing is going to collapse on me and I'm going to die. To get my mind off of things I start thinking happy thoughts. My kids, hubby etc. Then I get all emotional and start to cry. Yeah the MRI was an emotional thing for me.)

I get the MRI report-Clean (phew...but at the same time WHAT? I don't know what's worse having "nothing" wrong with you or having a diagnosis.)

I'm still awaiting the blood work and see the neurologist again on Wednesday. Hopefully there will be some answers.

(For those of you that saw my post about taking control? That's what that was about. I'm done worrying about this. I will make it through and I'm moving on with my life and we will see what Wednesday brings:)